Life Sucks, But Picking Myself Up
Well life has been feeling shitty. Found out I’ll likely be laid off before the end of the year and found myself in a situationship.
I’ve been remote since I started my job in early 2022. My company wants me to relocate despite the fact that the client I’ve been with for two years has never asked us to. The client and my team are happy with me and my work; however, I’m being released from the project due to bullshit, unnecessary company policies.
And now the guy I’ve been dating is hesitating to commit to an actual relationship despite us seemingly being exclusive. We dated briefly in April and only started dating again in September. We’ve been texting and/or playing video games together almost daily since we’ve met. I only considered dating him again after he said he was ready for long-term. Maybe he meant long-term with somebody besides me.
Would he be so unsure if his dream girl showed up and asked for the same? I don’t think so. I want to be with someone who is emotionally available, finds me attractive, and thinks I’m a catch. Not this lukewarm, waiting-for-a-better-option bullshit. I know they’re out there.
I should probably do the adult thing and communicate my needs. And I will. But I’m doubtful anything would change. I don’t want to be settled for.
I spent the past couple nights crying like a dumb bitch feeling sick of life, but now I feel fine. I’m going to clean up my room today. I’m going to work on my resume and apply for new jobs. I’m going to up my gym visits from once a week to twice a week. I’m going to an ENT to address my snoring and sleep issues tomorrow. I’m going to talk things out and/or breakup with the guy I’ve been seeing. And I’m going to focus on putting me and my needs and hobbies first.
Life will be okay.