Dreams, Pasts, and Futures
I had a dream about my ex today.
In the dream, he was driving me to a mall that allowed you to drive (slowly and carefully) inside of the building. There were some pedestrians walking around, and of course Ex gets impatient and speeds around them. A mall cop stops us and gives us a ticket for almost $700. I contemplated paying for the ticket because he was doing me a favor by taking me to the mall because I didn't have a car, but I didn't condone his reckless driving. I ended up deciding to just go ahead with it and that I would rather take several hundreds of dollars of loss over dealing with the potential drama with him, even though I felt like he would have begrudgingly taken responsibility for the ticket.
Thinking about this dream made me reflect on our real life situation. Like, I am just so tired of him that I don't care anymore and I'd rather just not deal with him, even if it meant financial loss.
I had gotten into a big fight with him over the weekend that ended in him calling me a "cunt", so I guess this is why this dream came about. We were going to stay friends, but I don't know if I'd want a friend who disrespects me to this extent. Time is so valuable and limited. Why spend it with shitty people who don't respect or care for you?
I have fewer than two more months on this apartment and he's on travel jobs most of the time, so I'm just going to hang in there.
Earlier, I also had a dream about a past high school crush. It took place in the present day, but we were in some sort of class together with a bunch of other students. He sat to the left of me, and gave me some of his old Gameboy cartridges, which I found sweet. Then as class ended, he caught up with me and made a comment about how we should hang out outside of school, as if he was asking me out and wanted to get to know me better.
It felt like such a sweet little dream. Always found it odd but nice how sometimes people from your past over a decade ago just show up in your dreams like that. I do wonder how he's doing nowadays, but I'd rather leave the past behind.
I'm going to take a solo trip to Maine next month. I've always wanted to visit before I leave the East Coast but never got around to it. It'll be my first solo trip since 2019, so I'm looking forward to that!